Spoken Word

LHS

“As I read the paper on seg, I was thinking if seg damages an adult, imagine what it does to juveniles. I was in Lincoln Hills for about 10 months and I done about 5-6 months in seg. My first time there, I was terrified. My second day there I seen a staff member open the door of a guy who was calling him names. This guy, named Dennis S, was calling a staff person names. This staff guy was about a foot taller than me and I was about 6’0”. He got his keys, opened the door and punched this kid in the face, blackening his eye.

I was in seg my first week in LHS and I punched a guy who was talking about having sex with his 5 year old niece. It was how he was talking about it that set me off.

But what I remember most, we could not have books or any paper or pencil. We’d get an hour in the day room every couple of days. In that hour, all while handcuffed and shackled, we had to clean our rooms, shower, do any school homework sent from the school, read and respond to any mail we may have gotten.

Then there was 2 x’s a week a skinny crackhead looking woman would come for mandatory 15 minute exercise. If you refused, your seg time was extended. So in handcuffs and leg irons, we’d be required to bounce and hop around. They had special side cuffs for exercise. So it went around your waist and then had cuffs and about a foot worth of chain. The chain went from the one around the waist to the middle of the one’s on your feet. We’d have to do these “modified jumping jacks” and chair exercise – running around chairs set about 10 feet apart. Then after that we’d “get to” play basketball with a flat ball. The ball had no air in it so you couldn’t dribble it. All while in cuffs. As we progressed through the steps it got better. You’d get a bed, then a book, then hygiene, then a pencil, then paper (one sheet; if you have 2 that was a violation), then they’d remove the leg irons, then cuffs. Each of these were individual steps that would be about a week or two apart. So if you got a pencil, you’d have to wait a week to get paper. Then a week after that to get a stamped envelope.

I remember when I got out my girl broke up with me. She said I was more aggressive.

DOUBLE CELLING IN SEGREGATION

Double celling in seg
Two people in a cell, in seg.
This is a horrible thing.
To be confined to a cell 24 hours a day, every day with the same guy.
If you go to exercise time, you have to go with this person.
Married people who love each other can’t survive being together every day, all day. Mothers who love their children can’t wait to send their ass to school or out to play to get a break.
What makes people think prisoners are any different?

DOUBLE CELLING IN SEGREGATION II

Having a roommate is
never
humane in seg.

24 hours a day, every day, with him.
The toilet faces the bed.
No curtain.
No way to have any privacy.

Come to find out this NINJA crazy! Today he says, “Hey, cellie…if you wanted to switch mattresses, that’s all you had to say.”
He’s accusing me of switching with him!
We’re in here every day, all together.
Things
got
very
tense and were very close to coming to blows.
I tell him we can switch, but this is the one and only free pass. Any other issues like this and there is only one way to solve them. I made him write his name on the mattress label. I’m NOT touching it.
I’d be charged
with
ruining
state
property.

THE GUY NO ONE TALKS TO

Last night
a guy
that no one talks to
bit his leg repeatedly.
Stitches from his last bite.
He’s super paranoid. No one talks to him because every conversation ends with him accusing you of plotting against him.

If they think
me staying in seg
until 7-28
will break me
then
they really have not been paying
attention

to who I am.

The more they push
The more confident I feel
In wanting to resist.

GUY IN 32 GOES HOME TOMORROW.

Guy in 32 goes home tomorrow.
Only 19
and been in 18 months.

Dumb ass is asking
how to turn power coke into crack and how to sell it.

This guy’s thinking ability tells me
he’s
very
slow.

STAFF IN JAIL VS. PRISON

The prisoners and staff in jail rotate
So resentment is less likely.
Here, prison seg staff will hold the job for years
and they have their rules and “the” rules.
Example. This woman told me last week she would not take my mail
because it was at the top of the door.
Where I always have it.
She said she wouldn’t. I said, “Fine, not an issue, but will you please tell me where I can read that rule.”

She said,
“That’s my rule.”
No reason.
Just because.

WHAT AM I PROUD OF?

What am I proud of?
My son.
Because of him, no matter where this body dies, I’ll live on through my grandbabies.
Because he is bone of my bones,
Flesh of my flesh,
I cannot die in prison…

Though I will.